You Didn't Say Goodbye
by losingcontrol92
Summary: He'd left her. No Goodbye. Nothing. All she had left was Luke and that could never be enough...
1. 2 Months

**A/N: Okay so this is my first ever fan-fic. After reading all yours I was inspired to finally publish something I've been working on. So I would love to know what you think :). I'll hopefully be updating quickly and I've already got the next two chapters ready, so after 2 or 3 reviews I'll upload the next.  
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**This isn't really set after a specific episode but sorta slots in after Sam had the offer for G&G.**

**Chapter 1 - 2 months.**

As she drew herself from another terrifying nightmare all she wanted was him.

She swiftly rose from her sweat-soaked bed and made her way to the kitchen for a cold drink. She threw some cold water on her face, took a sip and shifted herself to the couch before switching the t.v to some random programme.

As she snuggled down into the comforting material that now surrounded her, she found her thoughts beginning to drift.

_2 months. _She thought.

_2 months since he'd left. No sarcastic remark on how I would survive on the job without him. No last trip to their beloved diner. No last arrest together. No goodbye. _That one hurt her the most. _After everything we've been through he didn't even say goodbye._


	2. This isn't going to work

**A/N: Well guys, you are awesome. Thanks for the reviews and to those who added this to the alert/favourite. So here's chapter two as promised. A lot longer than the last one, you'll all be glad to know. Oh and guys I'd love some more reviews ;).**

**Oh and totally forgot to add a disclaimer last time.**

**DISCLAIMER: As much as I would love to own Sam Swarek and the rest of Rookie Blue – I think you all know that I don't :(**

**Chapter 2 – This isn't going to work.**

At first she thought that with him being away her life would become somewhat normal, or as normal as it could be. It would be easier than putting him on ice that's for sure. There was no temptation when those smouldering eyes, gorgeous dimples and that husky voice wasn't around.

But she soon realised she longed for him. It had only taken a week before it hit her.

_Flashback_

The pain was excruciating and she wasn't sure how much longer she could stand it. She looked at her surroundings in hope of gaining some composure, but found that it just made her even more concerned for her own welfare. Layers of debris from the now wrecked laundrette lay scattered around her. She attempted to move but she failed to find the strength needed to move the beam lying heavily across her left leg.

All she needed now was him.

"_McNally, I'm here" _Although Oliver's voice was reassuring it wasn't the voice she needed to hear right now. "_I've spoken to Luke and he said he'll catch up here when he's finished at the court, but I'm here and we're gonna get you out.. Are you okay?". _

"_Yeah…yeah I'm fine, but I'm stuck and the pain is soooo bad_"

"_Okay sit tight, we won't be much longer_".

She sat there listening to the grinding of the metal saw against the shards of debris that blocked her escape. She couldn't help but want him on the other side. Ready to hold her tight and tell her it was going to be okay. He always said he would be there when it matters.

When she had finally escaped the death trap of the burnt out laundrette she knew she need to find him. He was exactly where she expected him to be. By his desk, scouring over numerous case files.

"_Luke...we need to talk_"

He rose to give her a hug and kiss to her forehead, but she just stood there unreceptive.

"_Andy you oka…"_

She cut him off before he had a chance to finish.

"_I realised something when I was stuck in agonizing pain for almost two hours today, I realised that this isn't going to work_" She stated.

He put his hands on hers "_Andy wait, is this because I couldn't get out of my court work… I mean it's my job there's nothing I could have done"_

"_It's not only that Luke. Yeah you should have been there for me, like I would expect you to be. But you weren't really the one I wanted there. Or rather the one I needed there." _She whispered the last bit.

"_You needed him right?"_ He asked carefully watching her nervously shift her weight from side to side. "_I knew it, you've been off with me for a while now but even more so in the last week or rather since he left. I should have seen it coming, all those glances and smiles at each other and all those lovely little chats in the locker room… Heck I was probably the only person in the station who really didn't realise it" _He spat at her.

"_Luke it isn't like that. I didn't even realise what I felt until today, but either way there's no use in us bickering here. It's over. We're done. I've packed a bag and I'll stay at my dad's house. I'll pick the rest up when you're working tomorrow." _She turned and began to head for the door before turning back _"And I put the ring back in the lock box, you know where I found it." _And with that she headed out the door.

_End of flashback_

Remembering how loudly she had slammed that door behind her brought her back into the present. She'd been in her old apartment for a month now, and everything was placed where it needed to be. Pictures hung up, a grocery filled fridge and no unpacked boxes in sight. She was proud at how well she'd handled everything these past two months. No near-death experiences at work, no screaming matches with Luke, nothing.

She found her mind wandering as to what he would be doing now. _Talking to some smack-head in an alleyway… burrowing money away under his mattress… reading Moby Dick…. Lying on h…._And before she knew it she'd drifted back into sleep.


	3. That's my decision

**A/N: Thanks guys for continuing to be so awesome. I am loving the reviews and thanks to those who continue to place me on their alerts/faves. Please review this chapter and let me know what you think, or what you would like to see happen, I love knowing how differently people may interpret the course of the story.**

**DISCLAIMER: Still not the owner of the smouldering Sam Swarek or the rest of Rookie Blue.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 – That's my decision.<strong>

He was wide awake. His eyes carefully circling the pattern on the ceiling of his grubby hide out. He looked around the dirty room he now had to call his home. A rusty old table, a window that just wouldn't shut tightly enough to stop the slow whistling of the wind seeping through, an old fashioned chair he refused to ever sit in, a small tv that he never watched and his extremely uncomfortable bed.

But it wasn't the bed that was keeping him awake. It was her.

He thought that deciding to take this undercover op as part of the G&G would help him. The further away she was the better right?

_Wrong. _He thought. _This is much worse. At least when she was by my side I knew she was safe. Now I'm stuck in this hell hole wondering if she's alive when she's probably all cosy in bed with Callaghan._

_Stop it Sammy! She's happy with him. He's a detective! He can give her everything she's ever gonna need, whereas you can offer a small apartment barely big enough for yourself. _He argued with himself.

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><p>He woke to his phone bursting to life on the cabinet on his bedside. He grabbed it without even lifting his head and threw to his ear.<p>

"_Mmmm?" _He murmured.

"Sammy? It's Boyd". The gruff voice on the other end replied.

"_Mm, Yeah?" _He questioned.

"_Right we're thinking this op should be wrapped up in another month or two, and Best and I need to know where you're going" _

Sam lifted his head from the pillow and shifted himself round until he was sat upright. "_Oh right, yeah. Um I hadn't decided."_

"_Well we'd love for you to stay with us Sam, your one of the best. But I know 15 really want you back so I can give you till the end of the day but then I'm going to need a decision" _Boyd somewhat demanded.

"_Right. Okay. I'll umm, get thinking then". _He replied before hanging up the phone and burying his head back into his pillow.

_This isn't fair._ He thought. _I was supposed to have another month to make a decision. Another month to forget about her and keep my spot at G&G. _

"_Who are you kidding?" _He asked himself out loud.

_Forget about her? Never going to happen. _

_So let's do this. _

He began thinking about how much he'd achieved in these two months. He'd already managed to take down two small time drug dealers. He also managed to get a few of the hookers known to get down with the East Jameson gang on his side and the tips were flowing in.

"_I am awesome" _He remarked.

"_Okay get serious here Sammy, weigh up the advantages" _He told himself.

_At 15__th__ Division I have friends. At G&G I have friends._

_At 15__th__ Division she's there. At G&G she isn't there and I'm not forced to watch her and Callaghan together. _

_At 15__th__ Division the pay isn't great. At G&G it's better pay. _

_At 15__th__ Division I'm stuck with whoever I get stuck with. Epstein. Diaz. Peck. Her. At G&G I get to make my own decisions. _

_At 15__th__ Division I don't get my teeth really stuck into the big guns. At G&G I get to take down scumbags who make this city living hell. _

"_That's it." _He spoke out loud. "_That's my decision"._

He leant over to grab his phone again, and dialled a number he knew all too well.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. _

"_Hello, Frank Best of 15__th__ division." _The voice on the other end stated.

"_Frank. It's me. I'm coming back." _And he quickly hung up before he could change his mind.


	4. Nothing

**A/N: I'd like to thank all you guys for your continuing support – you're the reason why I'm still writing this! The next chapter is all ready so as soon as I get another 4/5 reviews I'll post it :)  
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**DISCLAIMER: Still not the owner of the smouldering Sam Swarek or the rest of Rookie Blue.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 – Nothing.<strong>

Once again she was woken by a terrifying nightmare. Again she found herself grabbing a drink from the fridge and placing herself on the couch.

_2 months. Another 2 months without him. _Her sadness quickly transformed to anger.

_4 months. No word from him in 4 months._

_Is he even alive? _Her heart skipped a beat when she asked herself this. She quickly shook her head to remove the mental images from her mind.

_He's Sam Swarek, _the thought "_and I'm awesome." _She mocked him out loud._ Of course he's alive. _She reassured herself.

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><p>She swung her bag on shoulder and quickly made her way through the puddle of officers in reception. Making her way to the locker room, she knew she was already late.<p>

She managed to see Traci's head bobbing into the locker room and she planned to catch up with her. But that's when she seen him. Following Oliver into the men's locker room.

_He hasn't seen me. _She thought, ducking her head lower to ensure she was out of sight.

_Had I even seen him? _She couldn't help but question his presence. She'd longed for this for so long that now it was here, she was unsure if it was even real.

Then she heard his gruff laugh travelling for the locker room and it hit her.

_He's back. _

"_Trace! Traci!"_ She shouted as she bundled into the locker room. _"He's here Trace. He's back. Like here. In the locker room. He's back." _She proclaimed, unable to form a simple sentence.

"_Andy what are you on about? It's just me and you in here." _Traci questioned, dumbfounded by her friends sudden babbling.

"_Not this locker room! The other one, you know where Dov and Chris get's changed."_ She explained unable to even verbalize the simplest of phrases.

"_You mean the men's locker room, right?"_ Trace asked with a small chuckle. "_Who is it? Who's back?"_

"_Who'd you thinks back? Elaine Peck? Sam! You know the guy who left me without a goodbye, the one I left my Fiancé for?" _She asked, shocked by the stupidity her best friend was currently displaying.

"_What do you mean he's back?" _

"_Trace… do you need me to restart this conversation all over again. I just saw him, heading into the locker room with Oliver."_

"_Yeah sorry, I just… I mean I'm as surprised as you are… well obviously not as much as you …but… well you know...Yeah so what are you going to do?_" Traci asked unable to find the right words to say.

She thought about it for a few seconds before replying _"Nothing." _

"_What do you mean nothing? For four months you've been pining over this man and now that he's finally here and there's nothing or no one holding you back you're not going to anything about it?" _Traci was in shock. She had watched her friend go through hell after Sam's sudden departure and now they finally had a chance and she wasn't going to do anything.

"_He left Trace. No goodbye. No nothing. Remember? I thought something could begin when he came back but he seemed happy walking in there, so he's probably moved on. I probably had it wrong to begin with. He wouldn't just leave without goodbye if he really cared would he?" _She was questioning herself more than Traci.

"_Wait so you left your fiancé for him, right?" _

"_Yeah"_ she replied.

"_And you were dreaming for the day he came back so that you could tell him, right?" _Traci continued to question.

She waited a second before replying _"Yeah"_

"_But now he's finally back you're not going to say anything?"_

"_Yeah"_

But before Traci could even attempt to question her any more Andy had already left and began making her way to parade.

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><p>She walked into parade, aware of his eyes following her. She refused to meet his gaze, knowing that just looking into those smouldering eyes would diffuse the rage that was currently contained in her.<p>

She simply sat in her usual spot next to Dov and faced the front waiting everyone's arrival.

"_Okay coppers settle down"_ Best announced on his arrival, he made his way to the front before turning to face them. _"First off, I'd like you to join me in welcoming back the one and only Sam Swarek."_

The room erupted in to cheers. She turned to see Oliver clapping Sam on the back as he flashed his dimpled smile to the room.

_God I've missed that smile. And those eyes. _

"_Thanks guys" _His husky voice sounded exactly the same.

_And that voice. _

"_Yeah, yeah we're all happy to have him back but let's get back to business" _Frank joked. _"Duties for the day, Peck and Epstein, Nash and Williams, Diaz and McNally and for old times' sake Swarek and Shaw – right let's get out there. Serve, Protect and the drinks are on Swarek later!" _

The room erupted with fake gratitude before they all began to disperse to their duties for the day.

_Thank god for that. _Andy thought to herself, relieved at the chance to avoid him for a day, she stood up and began making her way out of the room intent on catching up with Chris.

"_McNally?" _his voice urged her to turn around.

_Shit. _


	5. This is your chance

**A/N: You guys are awesome and I'm completely overwhelmed by the amount of favourites and alerts I;ve been added to, I seriously expected to get like 5 people maximum haha. So please review this chapter and let me know what you think, or what you would like to see happen, I love knowing how differently people may interpret the course of the story.**

**DISCLAIMER: Still not the owner of the smouldering Sam Swarek or the rest of Rookie Blue.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5 – This is your chance.<strong>

_Keep walking Andy. You haven't heard. Catch up with Chris. _

"_McNa…"_

"_Sammy boy! Glad to see you back"_

Andy had never been so happy to hear Jerry's voice. She turned around to see them sharing one of their greeting hugs and quickly exited before he had another chance to call her name.

"_You okay?"_ Traci asked, appearing from nowhere.

"_I'm fine."_

"_So nothing, huh?"_

"_Yup, nothing" _and with that Traci wandered off, still in shock._  
><em>

"_You okay?"_

"_I'm fine Chris. What is it with everyone asking me if I'm okay. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"_

"_Well I thought with Sam being back, you know, you would have wanted be his partner for his first day back"_

She turned her head back to see Sam trailing behind them.

"_Nope. You're my partner, and we should get going." _She assured him before dragging him out the door.

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><p><em>Who the hell does he think he is. That he can just show up and we're gonna be best buddies. Not happening. <em>She thought to herself as Chris started up the engine.

She felt Chris' eyes on her.

"_So was he happy to see, you?"_

"_Huh?" _she turned to face him a bit better.

"_Swarek? You know, was he happy to be back?"_

"_How should I know, I haven't spoken to him"_

"_Oh"_ noting the anger in her voice.

Chris decided against opening his mouth again, and just left Andy with her thought whilst he went into the coffee shop to grab their usual order.

_What does everyone expect me to do? Run into his arms. _

_His strong arms. His safe arms. _

She shook her head angrily.

_No. It's not happening! _She argued with herself. _He can't just show up, call me McNally and expect to be how it was before._

_It felt good to hear him say your name though. _She pondered. No one ever quite says it like he does.

_Doesn't matter how he said it. _She stated to herself.

_Yes it does. You missed him. You want to talk to him. Tell him everything. _

She resorted to angrily shaking her head again hoping it will get rid of that damn voice in her head. _  
><em>

_No. I've survived perfectly fine on my own without him for the past four months. I don't need someone who didn't even care enough to say goodbye. _

She decided, attempting to smile at Chris who was approaching her with the pick-me-up that was desperately needed right now.

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><p>They had been driving around for an hour and he couldn't take his mind off her.<p>

_Who the hell does she think she is. Not even a hello. She couldn't even look at me. _

"_You know her and Callaghan broke up right?" _Oliver stated, noting his friend's mind was somewhere else.

"_Huh?" _

"_McNally. She broke up with him."_

"_What? When? Why?" _He questioned, unable to take in what his friend had just told him.

"_Calm down," _Oliver chuckled. "_About a week after you left she got caught up in that burnt laundrette and he wasn't there, so when she finally got out, so she went to find him and ended it."_

"_So we've been driving around for an hour and only now you're telling me this?"_

"_I'm sorry." _He chuckled again_. "It was kinda fun seeing you debate with yourself though."_

A smirk drew upon both their faces. Then they just sat in silence.

_She left him. He wasn't there for her again. She must have been so scared in there. Alone. Knowing she wasn't going to have anyone to go home to that night. I could have been there. I should have been there. Ready to break through and get her. _

"_So maybe it's about time you talk to her?" _Oliver questioned, driving Sam away from his thoughts.

Sam turned to him with one eyebrow raised.

"_Well, you know, now that's Callaghan is out of the picture, you could maybe tell her how you feel?"_

"_and how do I feel?" _he asked clearly enjoying his friend uneasiness confronting the subject.

"_That's your call, brother" _

They sat in quite for a few more minutes before Oliver yet again felt the need to break the silence.

"_So how do you feel?" _He asked.

"_What do you mean how do I feel?"_

His friend just turned to look at him. "_Everyone knows there's something there Sam, I'm sure even Callaghan has a pretty good idea. The only people who insists there's nothing there is you and McNally." _

_"I… Um… Look Ol, I don't know what you mean. She was my rookie, you know the kind of bond that brings" _

_"Oh I know the bond that forms between TO and Rookie, but that isn't the bond you and McNally have" _He turned to look at him. "_Do you think Epstein turned up on my doorstep the night of the blackout" _

They couldn't help but laugh.

"_Okay fair enough. But that was a terrible day, and she needed someone…"_

_"… and instead of calling Callaghan at his office, she turned up on your doorstep." _Oliver cut in.

Oliver stalled the brakes on and pulled the car over to the side of the road. "_She left him Sam. A week after you left. Don't you see the connection?"_

"_We should get going, you know back to the barn" _Sam chuckled at his pathetic attempt to change the subject.

"_Sammy. Brother. This is your chance; just don't stand by waiting for her to make the move, okay?" _Oliver finished, realising the annoyance that was showing in Sam's face.


	6. So don't I get a hello?

**A/N: So here we go guys. Sorry this one's a little shorter, I just didn't want to drag it out. Please review :)**

**DISCLAIMER: Still not the owner of the smouldering Sam Swarek or the rest of Rookie Blue.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 – So I don't get a hello?<strong>

He knew where to find her. He always knew where to find her. He placed his bag on the floor outside the locker room, just as Noelle came out.

"_She's all yours." _She said with a knowing smile.

"_Huh?"_

"_McNally. She's the only one in there." _

"_Oh right. Yeah thanks." _

"_Have a good night" _and with that she left chuckling to herself.

_C'mon then Sammy boy._ He told himself.

"_So I don't even get a hello then?" _He asked, instantly recognizing her discomfort at his entrance.

She looked up and fought the urge to run into his arms. _No I'm not doing that, remember? _She reminded herself.

"_Oh hey."_ She said with a half-hearted smile.

"_Oh I'm great you know. Undercover job went great. I'm alive._" He replied, answering a question he wanted her to ask.

"_I knew you would be" _She stated, barely audible.

They stood in silence for a while. Sam stood against the lockers with his eyes placed firmly on the ground. Whilst Andy fidgeted with things in her locker, often flickering her eyes to him.

"_So you're not going to say anything" _He asked.

"_I… Um… what do you mean?" _She replied, knowing exactly what he meant.

"_Oh I don't know. Something along the lines of you missed me" _

She turned to face him and saw his dimpled grin.

_God I've missed that. _

"_Yeah… it's been weird not having you around." _She admitted.

"_That's it? I've been gone 4 months, and that's all I get" _

She just shrugged and once again they found themselves in minutes of silence.

"_So I heard you got caught up in that laundrette. Must have been scary stuff?" _He asked in an attempt to get her to open up.

"_Yeah"_

"_I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." _

"_It's fine. You were busy. It's your job." _She retorted.

"_Not everyone puts their job first." _He responded, angry at how she would think she wouldn't take priority over his job. _I'm nothing like Callaghan, _he thought to himself.

Silence.

He turned to face her and began to watch her fumbling around with the junk in her locker, pain and anger clearly evident on her face.

_God she's beautiful._

"_So I heard you broke it off with Callaghan?" _He asked, finally silencing the voice in his head that was pushing him to do it. He regretted it immediately.

"_Yeah". _

"_Must have been hard."_

Again silence fell upon them. Normally he would have been grateful for it; she never knew how to just sit in silence._ This is different. Something's wrong. _

"_Is that all?" _She asked, quickly stopping his thoughts and began making her way to the door.

"_I… um… McNally?"_ She turned back to face him. _"What's wrong?I mean what have I done? Normally you can't shut up, but it's like you can't even bring yourself to talk to me."_

She looked into his eyes, his warm and comforting eyes. She could feel the tears forming.

_He can't see me crying. _

"_Nothing's wrong. I have to go." _She turned around and threw herself out of the door.


	7. You wanna talk?

**A/N: This is really just a little bit of a filler chapter before it all kicks off, and it's super short, so I thought I would upload it tonight out of the way. You guys are awesome so two updates in one day is my gift to you ;)**

**Please continue to review – I love your feedback!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7 – You wanna talk?<strong>

It had taken a little over half an hour to arrive at her apartment. She flung the door open and threw her bag on the kitchen table. She hadn't even made it to the couch before the tears began to fall.

_I want him so bad. I want to run into his strong arms, look into his affectionate eyes and listen to his soothing voice._

_But he didn't say goodbye. _

_You're doing it again Andy. Using any excuse to run from something that fears you. _That voice in her head retorted.

Andy remained completely still for a few seconds, feeling the hot tears burning her face.

_I can't keep running. _

"_I need to see him." _She told herself out loud, she lifted herself off the couch and made her way to the door.

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><p>He flung himself on the couch and switched the tv to a recorded hockey match. He tried his hardest to push her out of his mind, but there was no way that was going to happen.<p>

_This is your chance; just don't stand by waiting for her to make the move, okay? _ Oliver's words began to play themselves over in his head.

_Maybe she doesn't want me to make a move. _

_How can she be so upset anyways? I came back because of her. _

"_She doesn't know that! You just upped and left her without any notice. Of course she's upset." _He answered himself out loud before lifting himself off the couch to grab a beer.

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><p>But before he could reach the fridge there was a knock on the door.<p>

He debated whether to throw a t-shirt on but guessed it would only be Ollie or Jerry calling in on their way home from the Penny. He quickly realised this wasn't the case when the shadow that beamed through the door was only of a small posture.

"_Oh.. umm…McNally?" _

Her heart fluttered hearing him calling her that. She'd missed it.

"_You… You wanna talk?" _He asked with a sudden sense of déjà-vu washing over him.

"_Yeah, yeah I do." _


	8. You didn't even say goodbye

**A/N: So they finally talk – yay! Haha. I'm not really sure whether I'm really happy with this chapter, but I'm going to go crazy if I rewrite it anymore.**

**So please let me know what you think and if you think I should do another chapter or leave it as it is?**

**DISCLAIMER: Still not the owner of the smouldering Sam Swarek or the rest of Rookie Blue.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 – You didn't even say goodbye. <strong>

He half expected her to change her mind. She hadn't wanted to talk on the night of the blackout. But this was different; this wasn't going to be something he could shrug off to her.

He had gotten lost in his thoughts before realising she was still stood at the doorstep.

_She hasn't run yet. _He told himself.

"_Oh yeah, sorry. C'mon in. I was gonna grab a beer, you want one?"_ he asked, beckoning her to follow him through his hallway.

He led her into the living room before leaving to grab two beers from the kitchen.

She looked around the room; she never had the chance to do this the first night she was here. She took in the comforting smell the room had to offer, s_mells like him, _she thought. She let her eyes wander, noticing how much care and pride Sam must take in his home.

"_Um… McNally?" _

She looked up to see Sam hovering over her with her beer, noticing how good he looked in just his sweatpants she could help but blush_. "Oh right, thanks."_

He took his place next to her, enjoying the comfort of being in such close proximity to her after being so far away, for so long. He looked at her, taking in the beauty he had missed so much.

She could feel his gaze burning in the back of her neck and turned to see his face. _He looks different. He looks worn out. _She thought. _He's still Sam, _she reassured herself.

"_I… um... I missed you." _She stated not knowing what else to say.

"_I heard you done well at work though, Oliver told me you've been partnered with Diaz a lot, so that must be fun" _he replied, immediately feeling her body tense next to his.

"_That's not what I meant". _

He knew that. He had just wanted to replace the sorrow stricken face Andy had to one that he loved, where she smiled.

"_I know"_ he replied, more honestly "_I missed you too_".

They sat in silence for a while, taking it turns to look at each other.

"_You didn't even say goodbye"_ she murmured, looking to the floor.

"_Huh?" _he asked, unable to make out what she had just said.

This time she turned to face him looking into his inviting eyes "_you didn't even say goodbye" _and then the tears re-emerged.

"_Oh Andy" _he replied, pulling her into his arms.

She instantly felt relief in his arms. Feeling the warmth of his bare chest and the safety his arms held.

"_I wanted to …" _he began, still holding her tightly and feeling small strands of her hair tickling his chin.

"_Then why didn't you? It was bad enough for you to leave but leaving without a goodbye…." _She left the sentence hanging.

"_I wanted to say goodbye, but I knew if I saw you before I left, then I wouldn't have gone under." _

She gently lifted her head from under his jaw and looked up at him to meet his gaze, still wrapped in his arms. _"Then why did you?"_

He remained silent for a few seconds just looking into her eyes, taking in the hurt and pain he knew she was feeling.

He freed her of his arms, averting his gaze. "_Do you know how hard it was for me to watch you with Callaghan?" _She noticed the anger in his tone and his gaze returned to her "_I'll do anything to make you happy Andy, and if that happiness was found with Callaghan then who was I to destroy it? I had to leave, I couldn't put myself through it anymore and sooner or later I would have taken it out on you." _

"_So you just left me?"_

"_You weren't alone, you had him – you chose him" _he replied, shaking his head with anger still evident in his tone.

"_I didn't choose him. You pushed me to him." _

"_I wasn't the one who ended it on the night of the blackout, I would have gone all the way with you McNally – I still would."_

She was surprised at the honesty in his reply and noticed the distress in his eyes. She turned away and looked at the paused hockey match on the tv and they both sat in silence.

"_I left Luke a week after you went under" _she said, with her eyes still firmly placed on the tv.

"_Uhhh, yeah… Oliver told me…"_ he answered, unsure of how to ask why.

"_Don't you want to know why?"_ She asked somewhat irritated.

_Great she's a mind reader as well now then, _he thought"_Only if you want me to know why." _

"_It was because of you. I didn't realise how much I wanted you, or rather needed you around me" _she replied, turning to face him once again "_I knew it would never work with him, no matter how much he could offer me I always feel safer with you."_

They once again found themselves in silence until Sam rose from his seat.

"_I can't do this again Andy, I can't have you for a night just to have you leave and go back to him" _he replied and Andy noticed how much he was suffering.

"_I... I know…" _She started "_I'm sorry, I just needed someone and the only person I wanted was you…"_

"_But you still left" _he pointed out "_and then a week later you up in some fishing cabin with the guy"_

"_I never wanted to go up there, but you told him I was all his" _She said lifting her head up to see him pacing the floor in front of the couch "_I just thought it'd be better if I just went up there…" _

"_You mean you ran?" _he questioned irritated, knowing he was right.

She waited a few seconds, before lowering her head back down "_yeah, I guess I did" _she mumbled into her chest.

He looked down at her for a while before deciding to take his place beside her again "_so what happens now?" _he asked, slightly nudging her shoulder with his.

She turned to face him, before looking away and shrugging her shoulders.

She leant back into the couch, and he did the same. They sat still for a few seconds before Sam placed his hand on top of hers.

"_I'm don't want you to keep running… you deserve to be happy but that isn't going to happen if you shut people out and run" _he told her.

"_I'm tired." _She said, fiddling with his fingers. "_I'm tired of it all, the anger, the pain, the running". _

"_I don't know how to stop you from running Andy"_

She leant in closer to him, placing a hand on his cheek _"ask me to stay."_

He looked into her eyes, wondering if she really meant it.

"_stay"_

The tingling she felt at the bottom of her stomach when he whispered that word was indescribable.

He slowly leant forward, breathing in her scent, before gently brushing his lips on hers. She returned the kiss with much more ferocity, wanting to feel him on her lips. His arms cradled her before lifting her to face him so that she was somewhat straddling him.

He broke the kiss of and began to nibble on her ear as she placed a trail of kisses along his collarbone. "_Stay_" he whispered again as she pushed him to lie on his back with her led on top of him.

They didn't need to go further than this. This was enough for tonight, the safety she felt of being in his arms and the reassurance he felt from having her so close was enough.

She placed her head on his chest and he kissed her hair, feeling her whole body relax. The sleepless nights had finally caught up with her, and as he began trailing an invisible pattern on her back with his soft yet strong hands she slowly began to drift off.


	9. Another 2 Months

**A/N: So this is the end! My first ever fic compete, I'd like to thank all my reviewer and those who were kind enough to favourite and alert my story! **

**P.S – I have a new fic out, check out my profile :)**

**DISCLAIMER: Still not the owner of the smouldering Sam Swarek or the rest of Rookie Blue.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9 – 2 Months. <strong>

Andy woke up in a sweat, _damn heatwave! _she thought. She knew there would be no sleep for her anytime soon, she has never been able to sleep during the hot seasons. Instead of attempting to fall asleep further, she slipped out of bed and decided a nice run would be a great way to release some energy and then hopefully she'd get some sleep.

As she made her way out of the door, she gently began to speed up her pace allowing her thoughts to wander.

_2 months _she thought.

_2 months since he'd come back. _

_2 months of his usual sarcastic remarks. 2 months of visiting his beloved diner. 2 months working side by side again. _

_2 months of his dazzling and dimply smile. 2 months of romantic dinners. 2 months curled up on the couch._

_2 months of safety, comfort and love. _

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><p>She slipped back in the bed, now somewhat tired. She couldn't resist a peek at him. She gently ran her fingers through his thick, soft hair and trailed a finger down his soft cheek and feeling dimples forming she noticed his smouldering brown eyes were breaking open.<p>

He lifted his head and placed a kiss on her forehead _"you forgot something before you left"_

"_What's that?"_ she whispered

He pulled her into his strong arms, ready to fall back asleep _"you didn't say goodbye" _


End file.
